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Cool Fun FactsWelcome to CoolFunFacts.com. Find cool amazing facts, interesting facts, bizarre, useless trivia quickly. Database of over 2000 facts.
'The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.' -- Bill Murray
'Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war.' -- Napolean If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking. -- Lyndon Baines Johnson 'The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do.' -- McCloctnik the Lucid No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt We're only in it for the volume. -- Black Sabbath 'We are upping our standards ... so up yours.' --Pat Paulsen for President, 1988 'If little else, the brain is a educational toy' - Tom Robbins A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. -- Dyer 'I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.' -- Clarence Darrow One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many ... -- Anthony Chevins Too much of everything is just enough. -- Bob Wier 'The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.' -- H.G. Wells The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. -- Will Rogers Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth? -- Patrick Sky Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. -- Plato Please try to limit the amount of 'this room doesn't have any bazingas' until you are told that those rooms are 'punched out'. Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such. -- N. Meyrowitz Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much. -- Will Rogers People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. -- Ogden Nash 'Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.' -- Lily Tomlin If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee. -- Graham Summer Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. -- Mark Twain Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. -- R. Geis A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space. -- Gloria Steinem If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way. -- Mark Twain 'After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.' -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island. 'The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector.' -- Knight-Ridder News Service dispatch. 'I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.' -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries. 'The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.' -- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia 'In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...' -- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported in a contemporary 'American Scholar.' 'The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.' -- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion of the Holocaust. 'Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued...Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.' -- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid. 'Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.' -- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane. 'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.' -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C. 'I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.' -- Vice-President Dan Quayle 'I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.' -- President Richard Nixon 'I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying.' -- Francis Gary Powers, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an interview after he was returned to the US. 'It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.' -- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job. 'They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.' -- Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank scandal. 'I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.' -- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. 'If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.' - Voltaire 'I could prove God statistically.' - George Gallup 'If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to let nudity 'happen.' ' 'I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.' 'Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.' 'If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. 'Wait a minute! I thought we won!' ' 'For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?' 'Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.' 'Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?' 'If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But only if you're serious about adopting the vulture.' 'When I found the skull in the woods, the first thin I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.' 'If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.' 'During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were 'just going down to the corner.'' 'Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.' 'What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? and after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.' 'Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.' 'I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.' 'To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.' 'If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.' 'I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.' 'I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.' 'Instead of having 'answers' on a math test, they should just call them 'impressions,' and if you got a different 'impression,' so what, can't we all be brothers?' 'If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).' 'I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.' 'To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.' 'If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.' 'If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, 'Can't you make it shoot farther?' 'No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots.' ' 'The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.' 'To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' You can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.' ' 'If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.' 'If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.' 'I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, 'I helped skin Bob.'' 'Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.' When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk. -- Stephen King I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali G: 'If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?' EB: 'Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.' -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4 For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. -- Johnny Carson Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma. Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another. -- Ambrose Bierce As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -- Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams, _Last Chance to See_ Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again. -- F. P. Jones Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. -- Emo Phillips There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate I am not a vegetarian because I love animals: I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: 'Of all the radio stations in Chicago...we're one of them.' A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. -- A Bit of Fry and Laurie The duckbill platypus (male) is the only venomous mammal in the world. George Washington did not take care of his teeth. He was left with one bicuspid before he had dentures made. The dentures were not made of wood (as common myth goes). They were hippopatomus, deer, horse, and human teeth screwed into an ivory base. Sorry to dissapoint G.Gordon Liddy, but, President Clinton's father died in a car accident in the United States 3 months prior to his son's birth, not prior to his conception. His father was honorably discharged from the service on December 7 1945.
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